Munamies strikes again

I guess many of you're (luckily) not familiar with Munamies (the Egg man). One of the worst music that you just sing and dance to when you've had more than enough booze.. Or you have 6 years old twins to look after and eventually you have to make a compromise that if they clean fast they can listen to Robin and Munamies.
Well as a starter yesterday I had my worst ever bodypump class. The instructor was a substitute guy and he was firs of all explaining for more than 5 min "hyppy-hyppyyyyyy" means jump-jumpppp. and it was o annoying I think everybody understood it for latest the second time he told us..+ it's the 6th track so there was no need to tell it then..
And on the chest track for almost a minute long everyone did whatever felt right because he decided that no more instructing for us and since it was everyone's first 85. program even I could't save myself from doing something not right. And anyways when he expalined something except the jumping part no one could really understand so ahgr I almost left earlier. Ok, just was thinking about it, because it was making me really angry the fact how he behaved and confused everybody. (in the end in the sauna I made my survey and unanimous declaration said so that it was CONFUSING.+yök.(ugh)

I don't get it why I can't post any video now :( So I have to link THIS was suppose to be here.
Well this use to be one of my running track. Today Márk posted it to us and I remembered so I was thinking today I need to post sometthing with this song. Not related just let it be here.
Actually today after being here more over than a year I menaged to go to Seurasaari :) I actually happened to be walking there on the sea.

Survive

Today I woke up singing a song that I had no idea how do I know. Well eventually it turned out that it's from the new bodycombat 55 the 8th track. (Took me a while I found out) Actually this month's gonna be a surprise for me because I couldn't download the masterclass and on youtube it was only the 5th and 8th track that somebody uploaded..
Nowadays I'm playing a surviving game. Ok it's not even close to any risky lifestyle, but according to the fact, that I don't have my freedom sometimes I even think of what if I would just go outside alone and go for a walk. Well this happened only once 2 month ago, when I was home for the whole day and I decided at 9pm that I need to breath some fresh air. I guess it was when I had the flue so it made sense. But now it's just weird. I was just thinking that I couldn't even complain to the mother about how hard is my life because after all I spend some time with the kids but not the evenings when they have to go to sleep. It happens only on Tuesdays when the father is away. Because she's the one who has her kids. So no kids for me only if I'm sure about that I can take care of someone 24-7 and that would mean even LESS Freedom , so how about not yet!
Though the 6 years old twins just explained me last week why they don't want to have kids: Simply because if it's a boy they don't want him to pie in their face, and you can't plan on having only a girl ,so they won't risk that it might be a boy.
Good point but I think in my opinion I'm just not ready and I can't plan that my kids are already 4-5 years old so they have some clue what's going on.
I guess there are different kind of theories so everyone has some reason why or why not have a baby. Actually I think I'm improving: 5 years ago I remember telling that don't worry if I won't have my period it's not a problem anyways I don't ever wanna have kids. Now I see maybe I would like to but still I can't see it coming.

sorry she has the good pics :D

But yes, Marta was here!!- some pictures- She's coming back in July so gosh I'm looking forward to see her again! We went to Sumenlinna in the -15-20 degrees so I think it's pretty visible on our face expression.. :D And of course 2 times to Café Regatta and Kallio and Pohjos-Haaga  even Ruoholahti+ city center..

Francini the Brassi girl

CHARLÈNE :)

mad fat

The "My mad fat diary" is a British TV series it has only 6 episodes for the first season but it's not a problem at least you won't spent too much time watching it. I really like the whole idea although I'm still a bit concerned about the original idea's roots.. If you know the "Skins" you might find some?! similarities such as - 16 years old British youth population with different kind of problems: self-satisfaction, suicidal tendencies,drinking, abortion, eating disorder, drugs, parties, bullying, parent issues..- So in different context but same problems.
Anyways I really liked it, maybe because I could really identify myself mostly with Rae-the main character  and a loads of memories came back while watching it. The feeling when you are free again from a mental hospital is exactly like "I wanna desperately GO BACK" I can remember when I left the hospital 5 years ago I didn't understand why is everything so huge, how come that people can walk just free without any supervision they have their own place to go, they actually enjoy the life. The only thing and I can clearly remember was in my head that ok now it's over no more protection no more safety welcome back to the real world where I have to lose weight again be perfect and not to mention study a lot because on the next day I had a huge History test. But in the series you can see for a couple of seconds how Rae feels when she leaves the hospital.. Same kind of thoughts.
Of course luckily I've been only anorexic but I know some of the nurses thought I'm crazy as well so I got the treatment really well.. just like back in school.. + the over protection that I hated. It could have been really nice that everyone "loves" me but I knew the only reason (let's hope I'm wrong) was because I had an eating disorder so they thought they need to help me to not to get back to the hospital and not to die.. So the 'after life' I really liked in the show because not like in my case, there was only Rae's best friend who knew about it- but only a couple of weeks after- so she could at least pretend for a while that she was only in France for 4 month.(Ok it was actually her Mother who told on the first case that she's in France)
The other thing and I could feel this one as well and it still can hurt- Bullying- this is the most disgusting thing you can ever experience. Rae gets hit by accident by one of the guy of the bully group. As it turns out he's a crap himself as well s after Rae explains how well she knows she's fat and since she's aware of it thank you she doesn't need to be reminded every time. The guy understands and stops the others as well. - I still don't know what was the reason I got bullied by ,I know the origin of it but the real reason doesn't exist. I learned my lesson: Do NOT want to fit in a very well cooperating group unless they invite you to join them!! -and here I ask : TRY TO EXPLAIN it to a 16 years old girl/boy after changing to a new school to BE AN OUTSIDER OF YOUR OWN CLASS. .Good luck! -The outsider issue comes up sometimes according to Rae as well.. No wonder why am I still afraid to get friends or to feel comfortable in a group of people thinking all the time if I say something maybe they'll hate me.. but I guess I'm braver than I  was a year ago. I can remember when I came to the Erasmus I was so so afraid of myself.. Luckily it turned out good. But still new people new rules am I ever gonna be really a member of a bigger group?!?! will see.
But we can see how nicely she improves her self-satisfaction and in the end she can tell everyone- who became her friends in the real life and she could see everyone has it's own problem and they even thought that she's only fat that's it so she's the most normal in the group-that she's been hurting herself and she spent a couple of month in a mental hospital.

hope to cry just a little

I really feel like if I could cry I would do it every time when I'm alone and feel a bit sad. Or just without any reason. But I still can't so I could describe myself as a person with no sense(of humor nor tears)..
This song is the one I always listen to when I try to feel something (apparently it doesn't help but after a couple of weeks I can feel Anger because it's starts to get annoying but won't go out of my head)  at least the lyrics sais something that could be considered emotion.  Plus the melody is relaxing.
But I don't know why is  it like this. I don't like the sunshine-ok maybe the sun alergie which I do have could be the reason in this case- But after the darkness now it is seriously disturbing to wake up at 6:50 and see that it's light outside because the sun is up. Not to mention that it's totally ok for me when June July comes and it'll be almost all the time daytime. So this case I'm a bit a LOT confused with my feelings.
Whatsoever will see.. MARTA is coming tomorrow!!!!!