indescribable

Ok at certain points enugh is enough. My stomach hurts. I need real food! Sorry that I'm notwilling to eat 6 days old food that contains meet! I know it's my bad but I think everyone who knows me can imagine how much food could I get if I was cooking potatos for lunch and nothing else! (for those who may not know: I HATE boiled potatos since I was 4!)
And this stupidity that goes on 3 days ago..
I do thin if someone has a problem 1. with me : SAY IT! 2. if I'm not included in the hatred, then don't look at me like you wanna throw up!
I don't really get it. It's maybe because of the wheather ( it's still snowing 2 days ago) or because as one of my friend described: no is just Finnish women are crazy sometimes, so don't worry.. however I wanna dissapear right now until everything is going to be normal!
And this nice gesture of inviting me to the dinner is permanently missing!
And don't get me wrong if it seems I'm just complaining and whining about everything, of course I have many good thing in my life. Apparently nowadays out of the house, but it's all right as long as I'm not forced to stay home!
And I really hate being someone whom you only say Hey, or Bye if you're feeling it (nowadays- never). And I keep on saying those stuff even though I'm feeling I would rather just leave.
And again hopefully it's only temporary so there might be a chance that I'll be able to feel myself human again!

"We'll be bestest friends foreverest if you just keep your face out of my face"
I can always lean something new.  Well the fact is that maybe I shouldn't try so hard. It's kind of my weakness that sometimes I really like someone as a friend and she/he acts the sam way but then suddenly dissapears and then I'm trying to reach by sending hey, zup? letters (well actually I'm talking about only one case that happened now) one a week, but no answer still.. And then suddenly the person writes that she didn't feel too open up o'clock way and I was too pushy.. Well I can understand, but I think it would have been fair if she didn't act like she sais everything she means when we met earlier all the time.. so now I'm a bit confused..Anyways I told her that I'm sorry it wasn't on purpose and if we could still meet sometime?
Well, let's see what she's gonna say or not say.. But I know that I don't wanna lose her because one of the coolest person I met.. But now the only thing is I can do, that let her decide what she wants. And the quote is from Scrubs, and when I heard this from Dr. Cox saying to Nooby I realised basically this is what she ment..

Well I don't really have any idea about how life should be.
Right now is really good. I work so I earn some money and I don't have to worry about that I can't survive. On the other hand I'm trying to save up money for the nex years, in this case is not that funny..

But since I stardted to write this post yesterday and I forget it, now I'll write about 2 other thing that actually happened yesterday. WARNING! no offence and it'll be quite long..

First of all, the "vainajainpäivä" the all souls' day is on the first Saturday in Finland. Ok no problem, and in a way I was aware of the fact that the public transportations should work as it always happens on holydas you should check the sunday timetable. Well I haven't. So I was about to go to Meilahti to my regular Saturday 10 o'clock combat class, but at the train stop I had to realize that there is no way I could get there in 30 min by bike.. I was totally shocked and stood on the plattform for about 5 min, then I decided to go to Viiki, because I could remember there is a combat around 10. And I forget the most important thing IT WAS RAINING +MISTY!
Whatsoever I went to Viiki ( got lost 3 times on the way there, but finally an alcoholic man told me the right way in his really fast and mumbling Finnish, good that I could somehow get the most important parts of it!
So when I got there I was totally WET and muddy ( luckily I put change of clothes for the return trip).
Then comes a really interestin thing: the instructor was at first sight an 67 year alcoholic+chain-smoker..But then she was talking to me during the class in English and gave 2 really good advice what I should do better, so it was good. An then I asked her, how does she know I'm not Finnish, and she told me she heard me talking upstairs, so am I from the States?- Again, nowadays everyone who has not heard me speak in Finnish( because then they're surprised why I switch the languge at some point to English..) they ask me from which part of the States I came..
So afterall I stayed for the sreching and it was really good, so then I just had to bike home and "relax".

I the evening I went to my French friend's place which is in Pohjois-Haaga. There was her Japanies friend too so we had fun, so it was good, but then (again the Sunday timetable) the last train left in front of us. Ok for them it wasn't really a problem, because they could take any bus to the citycenter, but I was by bike. So I told then not to worry I'll bike home. My orignal plan was t obike to the city center and from there home because then the 16 km would have been on a way I know.. Just the fist 8,5 till the center is a way I only knew by bus and it goes on the highway so no bikelines.. Then-and here comes the "story" some guys told me that yeah, you just follw this road ( after 200m it was already a junction)and then I see Mannerheimintie and ofc I would have known how to continue from there.. Well, INSTEAD of it I got lost in an other junction in the middle of the forest and I almost paniced, so I called Petra, and she was still awake so she cheked me which way to go.. Then I asked a loads of other drunken people, and none of them was living there so it was interesting. Finally I saw the trucks, so I felt really happy, but then there was not the same bikeline I rememberd. In the middle of the forest in heavy fog, I started to bike in the direction I thought it could be what I'm looking for and when I saw the bridge suddenly I become happy and relieved so I called Petra again not to worry I know the way home is just 6 more kms so is ok.
When I got home I texted to  Charlène  that I got home in one piece and btw happy Bday :D
Alltogether I biked 31km.. and most of them drunken..

Lingonberry cookies

So finally I baked some cookies today.
I was feeling if I won't get any sweets I'm gonna get crazy, so I decided that according to the circumtances I'm going to bake whatever with a loads of sugar.
So I remembered I still have some lingonberry in the freezer I bought like 4 weeks ago.
And is really simple seriously if you don't have to go 2 km-s in your kitchen then in 5 min you can mix the dough really confortable.
I used an iittala glas that is I think is aruond 2 dl or a bit less.

Ingredients:
-1 glass flour
-1 glass oatflakes
-1 glass sugar
-1 glass lingonberry
-2 tsp coca powder
-1 vanilla sugar
-25g butter
-2 tbsp yogurt
-1 egg

So first preheat the oven to 200 degrees, then just mix everything together and make small  heaps aproximately 1 tbsp is 1.
And bake it 15-20 min.


ps. the glutenfree version is the same but with glutenfree ingredients..

C'est Bleu

I kinda feel like an "experienced fitness buff" according to UniSport's term.
And this is a really funny thing I think I just got use to it, that if I can I just go and do some sports. And it makes me feel really good.
This song is ofc scooter. What I think that scooter is really good for workout stuff (no wonder why you can find almost in every bodypump program 1 track)And it would be so cool if I could become an instructor, 1 week ago I wrote an email to a person who could help me about it, but as known she's really busy nowadays, so I'm still waiting for her answer.. Will see.

All right..

No basically nothing is all right and YES it is really good wining sometimes always!
And no, even though it would be better if a loads of things were better, but I don't want to have a perfect life.  I mean I know myself and I'm perfectly aware of what would happen if I had a perfect life. Probably it would start with eating disorder and a 3. degree so no! I'm fine with the normal eating habit and the 1 gap year I'm taking and trying to learn Finnish. And I'm absolutely sure about I have no idea what am I going to do in the future. Maybe I should study  something else and work as eg a Physico therapist. That sounds awful, but in a way you work with people, you don't have to write a lot, and yes is really bad that you have to learn anatomy again. Plus I really do want to instruct at the gym. Mostly BodyPump, but not the BodyCombat seems cool too. SO I just wish they're gonna need new instructors for Unisport so I could become one..
So my bike is broke, who knows when I'm gonna get the new(used) one. I'm gonna be poor again, until the next salary comes. But this is life, and if I won't have to pay any more extra things like this bike incident then I could save up some money for the future.
And I really hate when is Friday andI have no clue if I'm gonna do smtg or just nothing, but in this case I may    go alone to the city center and try to do something funny. But I have no idea waht could be funny alone.
Yes and what else, I'm kind of starting to understan why Ale is talking about the importance of using condoms, because now it's too late for those who have already some, and struggeling with raising them.( yes too bad when kids are awful, I can't tell the parents they forgot it 2 times..)
I should bake, but I didn't have time, and the thing is that the weekend is when the family is home, so I won't bake..
And it sucks if you don't have a valid student card!

I can't belive this!
Seriously, why?
Why do I always have to find all those guys who are gay?? And I don't have any problem with gays my problem is that nowaday all the boys I could like turns to be gay. So now I should fing somehow those guys who are looking for a girl and not for an other male! Maybe I'm exaggerating it a bit but sorry, this is how I feel at the moment. I really don't know how can I like all the gay guys and nt recognize it first that they're not straight. It sort of makes me feel like that I'm being a super creature because usually this never happens to anyone..
??
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