Apparently I'm not enough. Not cool/good/interesting enough to hang out with me. So not that people even have to lie about what they are doing in order to let me know that they won't hang out with me. And so not that sitting next to me a day before one of them offering to talk through about the task we have to do and knowing that I do understand Finnish answering to the proposal person that "but its not good she wont come tomorrow with us". Well thank you if you don't wanna hang out with me it'd be much easier to tell that yeah tomorrow we're gonna hang out just the 2/3 of us and you're not invited this time no sorry. (as a matter of fact not just this time true that) And well I'm sorry but it feels awful to see on instagram or wherever that I worse nothing. And no wonder why I'm having constantly nightmares abou being bullied being excluded not wanted by anyone.
And it might be that I realm should change myself but I just can't be more interesting at least I don't know how to be. I do feel really shitty and the worst part is that I really like these people (although I'm not so sure anymore if they like me at all).
good nightmares to everyone too I'm just about to start my new one..
