it starts now

I have to choose a topic I'm going to write about but actually I don't know what. And I have 20 days to figure out and write 10 pages.

And of course I should find some books, articles for my home university essay too.

I know it doesn't help if I'm writing it out of my mind how stupid I am and how bocked my brain. Still I want to write it down.

And it's really scarry that I was nearly falling asleep today, I tried to listen to the teacher but it was like so boring I couldn't understand anything because his words just hited my ears and than nothing left to my mind.

Maybe I'm just about to start to panic. But I really have to do it!

So today, ok it sounds stupic I just checked the time and it's 11.30 so I would say I'm not going to sleep until I get the topic.

It sounds confusing I just feel anger and hopeless, WHY AM I SO DUMB??