not good

I have been thinking last night.

And here's what I could figure out- there are 2 options and I think I need to choose but the problem is it's not that easy.

1. I'll go to Hungary for 11 month and finish my BA and it would cost a fortune and I'm not sure how happy I can be there but yeah I'm kinda use to it that really nobody cares about my feelings I'm the only one.. And that would be a waste of time of my life because I would never ever do anything with that paper if i can get it + I would need to get from somewhere money after it to be able to come back to Finland. 

2. Since I got a job offer and it seems it's still on I could stay and get payed (it doesn't really matter how badly) I could get my Finnish skills to a much better level and do the BodyPump instructor training course. So I wouldn't get any psychology BA paper but I could get an instructor license. And save up money for the following year if I get in to a study place and I could afford the living on my own more or less. Not talking about I would be happy and feel good.

But here's the thing I did the first 2 years of the psychology so if I quit now than all the money that was invested in it would seem just a huge amount of wasted money. So the guilt is huge.

 I hate this whole thing and I'm really afraid that I'd become a homeless and I really don't want it. Because obviously I won't stay in Hungary but again if I don't have money I can't live here either so I would need to work again before being able to start my studies here. And I don't feel  too young to waste all my time. And it seems I'm not that smart because my final exams I had 3 years ago would worth less than nothing nowdays in Hungary. 

Here it's still good.