mad fat

The "My mad fat diary" is a British TV series it has only 6 episodes for the first season but it's not a problem at least you won't spent too much time watching it. I really like the whole idea although I'm still a bit concerned about the original idea's roots.. If you know the "Skins" you might find some?! similarities such as - 16 years old British youth population with different kind of problems: self-satisfaction, suicidal tendencies,drinking, abortion, eating disorder, drugs, parties, bullying, parent issues..- So in different context but same problems.
Anyways I really liked it, maybe because I could really identify myself mostly with Rae-the main character  and a loads of memories came back while watching it. The feeling when you are free again from a mental hospital is exactly like "I wanna desperately GO BACK" I can remember when I left the hospital 5 years ago I didn't understand why is everything so huge, how come that people can walk just free without any supervision they have their own place to go, they actually enjoy the life. The only thing and I can clearly remember was in my head that ok now it's over no more protection no more safety welcome back to the real world where I have to lose weight again be perfect and not to mention study a lot because on the next day I had a huge History test. But in the series you can see for a couple of seconds how Rae feels when she leaves the hospital.. Same kind of thoughts.
Of course luckily I've been only anorexic but I know some of the nurses thought I'm crazy as well so I got the treatment really well.. just like back in school.. + the over protection that I hated. It could have been really nice that everyone "loves" me but I knew the only reason (let's hope I'm wrong) was because I had an eating disorder so they thought they need to help me to not to get back to the hospital and not to die.. So the 'after life' I really liked in the show because not like in my case, there was only Rae's best friend who knew about it- but only a couple of weeks after- so she could at least pretend for a while that she was only in France for 4 month.(Ok it was actually her Mother who told on the first case that she's in France)
The other thing and I could feel this one as well and it still can hurt- Bullying- this is the most disgusting thing you can ever experience. Rae gets hit by accident by one of the guy of the bully group. As it turns out he's a crap himself as well s after Rae explains how well she knows she's fat and since she's aware of it thank you she doesn't need to be reminded every time. The guy understands and stops the others as well. - I still don't know what was the reason I got bullied by ,I know the origin of it but the real reason doesn't exist. I learned my lesson: Do NOT want to fit in a very well cooperating group unless they invite you to join them!! -and here I ask : TRY TO EXPLAIN it to a 16 years old girl/boy after changing to a new school to BE AN OUTSIDER OF YOUR OWN CLASS. .Good luck! -The outsider issue comes up sometimes according to Rae as well.. No wonder why am I still afraid to get friends or to feel comfortable in a group of people thinking all the time if I say something maybe they'll hate me.. but I guess I'm braver than I  was a year ago. I can remember when I came to the Erasmus I was so so afraid of myself.. Luckily it turned out good. But still new people new rules am I ever gonna be really a member of a bigger group?!?! will see.
But we can see how nicely she improves her self-satisfaction and in the end she can tell everyone- who became her friends in the real life and she could see everyone has it's own problem and they even thought that she's only fat that's it so she's the most normal in the group-that she's been hurting herself and she spent a couple of month in a mental hospital.